I have to get this out somehow I don’t have a formal way of saying how I have been. I don’t plan on harming myself but I don’t want to be here anymore. I feel so depressed I don’t think it can compare to anything I have felt before. Living feels painful. I don’t want to talk about anything that happened to me. I just want to go back to how it was before. I was hurt and in pain but at least I had a will to live. I feel afraid no one can help me. The scariest part is not being able to help my children. I’m disconnected from myself and everything around me. I don’t see a point in living if we all just die and I’m also afraid to die. I have felt this way before when I was threatened by two different men and I had stress from my family but it eventually went away or I just smoked so much weed that I forgot about it. I was recently triggered by horrible events and I can’t seem to shake this. I have two children and I feel like this will never end. I am in so much pain but I don’t want sympathy I just want to be myself again. I feel like part of my brain is gone. I am advocating for myself but I am tired.
This photo was taken in 2024 I believe or 2023 I am wearing a vintage thrifted blue dress.
