I felt like I was going to die now I just want to die

 It’s 7 o’clock on the dot I’m in my drop top cursing the streets. No not really I just needed a laugh even though I didn’t laugh. Life feels pointless I don’t feel joy I don’t feel happiness. I’m tired. I don’t have the strength to keep going. I am tired. Make it a great day or not the choice is yours. Something I would hear over the intercom in elementary or middle school. I believe it was elementary school. I feel like I’m suffering everyday. you are safe you are loved you are protected always. I will probably delete this post. I will post again soon. Today I’m forcing myself to go outside. Hopefully I make it out and don’t end up crying in the corner of my bathroom. After everything that happened I felt like I was going to die now I just want to die. 

Living hurts I am broken beyond repair

One day I will post my outfits again and get back to fashion and dancing but right now the past few months I don’t even want to live. I cry everyday I wake up but it’s not like before this time I truly have no hope left. I wish there was a magic pill I could take to not remember how life is. I don’t want to write anymore so I will stop. I know I’m supposed to say it gets better stay strong but it just seems to get worse. I am in so much pain I don’t want to be here anymore because that’s how I feel. And why stay here and accomplish or enjoy when death is the end goal. I am broken beyond repair living hurts. Peace 

This is me Monday July 6,2026 

I don’t want to be here anymore but afraid to leave

 I have to get this out somehow I don’t have a formal way of saying how I have been. I don’t plan on harming myself but I don’t want to be here anymore. I feel so depressed I don’t think it can compare to anything I have felt before. Living feels painful. I don’t want to talk about anything that happened to me. I just want to go back to how it was before. I was hurt and in pain but at least I had a will to live. I feel afraid no one can help me. The scariest part is not being able to help my children. I’m disconnected from myself and everything around me. I don’t see a point in living if we all just die and I’m also afraid to die. I have felt this way before when I was threatened by two different men and I had stress from my family but it eventually went away or I just smoked so much weed that I forgot about it. I was recently triggered by horrible events and I can’t seem to shake this. I have two children and I feel like this will never end. I am in so much pain but I don’t want sympathy I just want to be myself again. I feel like part of my brain is gone. I am advocating for myself but I am tired. 

This photo was taken in 2024 I believe or 2023 I am wearing a vintage thrifted blue dress.

New post soon

 Hello you guys I am planning to make a post soon.well a couple of posts 

Thank you 

ERIKA ANN MARIE RANDOLPH WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN

 WOW I’M CRYING READING MY OLD POSTS I’M BACK OH AND CATCH ME ON YOUTUBE 

AND HERES MY LINKTREE: https://linktr.ee/steviesa

Fashion Shows and more

Hello ! I wonder how many followers I have left, I've been so busy with school and work that I didn't have much time to post on here.

I recently did the Naturally Glam Fashion Show in Norfolk and I showed some pieces for Resort or Spring Wear 2013 :)

I also took some photos myself of the pieces just this past Saturday 

Models: Tia and Tymara Austin Edwards 

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Erika-Ann-Marie/123641541055261 

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back in action

hello all!  I have been sooo busy with other things that I have neglected my blog but I always think about it. A little while ago I had orange hair so ill post those pictures for you to see too!

school is going well I guess other than the financial part its good. I'm taking fashion illustration 2 which is a challenge and fashion sewing techniques which I love!

I learned so much and recently we learned how to make some pleats such as : box pleats, knife pleats and tucks! 

next month I am designing in a fashion show so I'm super excited about that and I sold my first dress last month I'm not sure if I got a chance to post it or not but I sold the branches dress that was in my spring collection last year if any of you remember that?  but anyways ill be posting more again talk to you all later!  :)

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busy

I haven't posted on here in months. I will be back soon apologies school and work keep me busy  :/ 

Thats a steal

Hello! I've started classes and I'm so excited for one of my classes that I'm taking called sewing techniques! I can't wait to make my sewing skills better! Now onto the title I found this gorgeous blouse in the thrift store for $1 dollar I love thrifting! 

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Controversy

 

I was reading Nymag.com/fashion and I saw the article about Amy Winehouses father being upset about Jean Paul Gaultier's "Winehouse-inspired couture show". Her father told a british newspaper: "The family were upset to see those pictures, they were a total shock. We're still grieving for her loss, and we've had a difficult week with the six month anniversary of Amy's death. To see her image lifted wholesale to sell clothes was a wrench we were not expecting or consulted on ... We're proud of her influence on fashion but find black veils on models, smoking cigarettes with a barbershop quartet singing her music in bad taste. It portrays a view of Amy when she was not at her best and glamorises some of the more upsetting times in her life. That's upsetting for her family." I can understand how the family would be upset because it seems commercial and only trying to make a profit. Her father then goes on to say that Gaultier should donate to the fund they have set up for troubled teens under Amy Winehouses name; aren't they trying to get a profit as well? While on the other hand I think Amy would be happy to see what an influence she has on the fashion industry. Not everyday are you the inspiration for a couture show! I mean how many famous people and ideas do people get permission from I really don't think its that serious. What do you guys think? Here are some pictures from the show.

 

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