New Day

I spilled my guts to you all  I bet your tired of it now, ha. Well I've been writting in  my sketchbook everything I think since for class we have to draw or write down anything we feel! I feel like the weights almost lifted off but its not gone completely. One day I have faith this will all be over! I'll be able to let go of it w.faith! Well other news I applied to forever 21 today hopefully I at least get an interview I still dont have a job yet hopefully I get this one!! Wish me luck that I at least get the interview! :) 
Now I wasnt so sure if I could pull this look off or not what do you think? My chest is a lil not so small as a models! so The belly shirts do look diff. But I really liked this shirt and I had to wear it I loved this shirt and I wanted it so bad, So I wore it like or no?

top: Jc Penny

Shorts: Jc Penny

Shoes: Kmart

Bangles, rings, necklace: I wear everyday :)

Back Then

Im sharing this with you guys. Probally wont read it or care but I am. For some reason I havent spoken to himin days yet I still dream about him! omfg I want to get over him but Idk how. He was horrible to me yet im still holding on. he took a piece of me I guess. He couldnt give a damn about me yet I still want him! Idk why I tld my friends I think i'm crazy. well last night I had a dream about him its sort of a nightmare to me, since he talks about other girls right in front of me then he says that I stressed him out and got on his nerves I woke up crying since those were things he told me all the time for mostly no reason at all. Making it seem like everythings my fault. I woke up crying also because theres other girls involed I can't get over the fact that he talks to other girls and since in the dream he doesnt talk to me. In real life I'll be forgotten and he wont talk to me. I know I havent tlkd to him nor has he but I still cant shake this. He's my first real love I believed everything he said I went along with anything he said and I was there I guess I was nothing to him or either all guys are heartless. mind you this has been since january and now that Its time for school it'll really be forget you Erika. So instead of running and crying and texting him and tellin him how much I love him and miss him and that I had a bad dream I just wrote it down in my diary. " It sucks when your dream is no longer just a dream its a reality."
 "Your always there day and night if I'm not actually thinking of you I still end up doing it. Its so frustrating. I feel so crazy. You said in the dream you were tired and always stressed out. I heard you, I know you meant it, becasue you told me that in reality tons of times. Now I have to accept that there will be others, way better than me. Even though you say its not my fault I feel like it is. No I dont want your pity or attention i know you dont want me or even care. I just want to get out of this nightmare. Its a whole and im trapped."

Now before hes told me that he broke up w.me becasue he didnt want to use me anymore and he wanted relations with other people no relationship and were friends. Everytime before I asked him why he broke up w.me it was something new, "my family,me, stressed out, he doesnt want a relationship, or either he just wouldnt answer. Ugh!!!" I tried being his friend and hanging out with him but I cried right after. We hung out for 20 min ths it I cried right after and I havent spoken to him since which was about 3 days ago. hmhm. so yeah I havent spoken w.him since then and I havent spilled my guts to him again..go me i guess. even though it seems like it gets worse everyday I dnt communicate w.him. Just pray :/

dress: thrifted

shoes: payless

bangle: I always wear given to me by my grandmother

necklace: my trademark I always wear.

Don't sweat it

Im trying my hardest to move on! hes starting college now so I have no choice then I'll be forgotten! Well yeah other than that Im fine... well heres the photos!

yes its true I love these boots!!!!!!!!!

vest: thrifted

shorts: Ralph Lauren

Top: Jc penny

beautiful dirty rich

Yay i finally have a gaga shirt!! Ive wanted one for soooo long!!! There were so many to choose from!! I wanted the one where she has on cigarettee shades tooo,but I couldnt get it. But I do have this one!! I love her I love the colors!!! Im also wearing jeans that I bleached myself they were orignally dark blue jean like original levi color but I have two pair so I decided to bleach one pair last year!! yay me! Its weird so many people are like where'd you get your jeans from? Im like I made em! hehe They're deff my fav pair to wear I never want to give them up! =)

lady gaga top: hot topic

jeans: levi ( bleached myself)

hot pink wedges: payless

belt: jc penny

Playful!

I've been really busy with school guys which explains why I haven't been commenting as much as I usually do! This weekend I should have some time to! Right now i'm in the school library posting these so hopefully I can comment you guys soon! Im still here! :)

top: jcPenny

Shorts: too lazy to look at the tag but they were given to me!

shoes: nike! (footlocker)

I finally got to take better photos on the railroad tracks! yay! :))

sorry

well sorry guys my internet has been down until today because we had a slight storm and I was unable to get online and it was the weekend so I didnt have school so therefore I couldnt use the computers there either! Well its back on for now. I just have some photos from the weekend! Ill tell you what im wearing idk wihat my friends have on though lol. :) 

im goofy lol

outside of TARGET

i told you i was!

hehe

sitting on the furniture in tagret lol

in the jean outfit my stockings are shredded and

top: jcpenny

jean shorts (used to be pants): charlotte russe

flats: target

sorry for the bad photos on this outfit it was super late and i was tired if you can tell and it was dark outside so i had to take them inside sorry! but you guys id be rich for all the weird or why is she wearing that looks i got,. lol i guess becuase of my tights and they were shredded? or maybe cuz of the whole outfit? but who cares im still going to wear it,. just beacuse everyone in va is walking around in aeropostle and american eagle. and still wearing baby phat for some reason:? lol,. i love clothes and if i make you feel uncomfortable get over it! just cuz i dont dress like you sheesh!

now the first outfit,. again i got looks why?  i guess cuz noones brave enough to dress the way i do ha! everyone wears the same things around here. sheesh yes i have on high wasted shorts yes i have on a flanel red shirt and a hat! ugh!

red flanel top: given to me

shorts: thrifted

hat: thrifted

blue flats: payless

stripey

Today I have school late so and I dont have praise dance today so I should be able to comment you guy's blogs! Hmhm..its getting harder somewhat I dont want to keep being a pest to you guys though so I wont talk about it

I havent talked to him in days of course its killing me but im trying to take everyones advice and realize I dont need him and he was a jerk anyway somehow I still want him even though he is a jerk. smh but yeah no talking he hasnt called. dear God I hope I get over this heartbreak! its way over due!

dress: H&M

mini cardigan: avon

shoes: kmart

bag: Avon

double chain gold bracelet: target

chunky gold necklace: made by me